Yup, this is me. In a town where I was born. In Croatia. As you see, I was a cute little girl so you can imagine I got a lot of attention. Lucky me? Uhm…no.
To me – that was the worst thing in the world…
Most people wouldn’t believe it but I was always a really shy child, completely overwhelmed by attention I was getting. At the time I didn’t realize, nor did anyone else, that I was also a High Sensitive Person. Today I know what it is, but I’ve had years of struggle because of it. I FEEL EVERYTHING. And yes, it’s overwhelming. And yes, attention bothers me. Honestly, I feel most comfortable in my little shelter protected from the world. I avoid crowds because they’re overwhelming. I crave solitude and space to process my emotions and everything I feel. I need time to regenerate.
Not many people get that. And as I said – I was super shy! I couldn’t even STAND in front of people, let alone SPEAK to them! I would kick, scream, cry and – escape as soon as possible.
I’ve been judged and misunderstood for being sensitive so many times I can’t even tell you. I thought something was wrong with me. So you can imagine how low my self-confidence was. I didn’t believe I could do anything I wanted. And I loved to sing, dance, perform – and make people smile. Imagine that! I grew up in a family of actors so this was absolutely normal. But for me it was terrifying, yet I was always drawn to that. I guess I have some artistic genes that couldn’t resist.
So one day I decided to face my fear. I went to an improv class in the Zagreb Youth Theater. I was completely freaking out as I was making my way there. I remember it, as if it were yesterday! STILL! And this was over 20 years ago! I kept thinking – “What am I doing?? Am I completely crazy?? I will make a fool of myself in front of all this people! I can’t do this…I can’t do this…I CAN’T !!!”
AND THEN…
I thought to myself – “NO. I CAN’T GIVE UP WITHOUT EVEN TRYING.”
I knew I would regret it. I had to try. I was so curious of what would happen! I figured, there are two options:
- I hate it and make a fool of myself. I leave the class and never come back. I don’t know these people so I don’t really care.
- I love it and discover something new! I finally get to do what I love and stop being afraid.
I LOVED IT!!! It was amazing! And mind you, I DID MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF! Haha 🙂 And it was great! We laughed. That was it. It was funny! Nothing scary. The world was still turning. Nothing changed. Except I pushed my limit a bit further. That was different. Up to date, this has remained my motto – Don’t give up before even trying!Since then I kept going for my dreams and faced my fear over and over again. I am STILL FACING MY FEAR and getting out of my comfort zone. You know why? Because it’s WORTH IT. If it allows you to follow your passion and live the life you desire, you gotta do it!All this helped me build my confidence and follow my heart’s desire. Being confident and trusting that you CAN do whatever you want makes you UNSTOPPABLE! It makes you a powerful manifester!Being confident has allowed me to:
- Become a successful jazz vocalist in my country (singing in front of people was a BIG FEAR, remember??)
- All my jobs were about me standing in front of people – a teacher, a tourist guide, a translator, an actress, a singer, a facilitator…and I loved it!
- I performed in front of thousands of people and on LIVE national TV!
- I hosted my own radio show every week on LIVE national radio!
- I have hosted many events, and have spoken at and facilitated hundreds of workshops, events and lectures
And you should try improv theater! 😉 hehe
This is me happy on stage, doing what I love and sharing this joy with others. Follow your passions! It’s worth it! 🙂 Photo by: Martina Bošković Ribarić
